Born a Girl, Raised to Obey: The Weight of a Toxic Tradition

Living as a woman in many parts of the world can be harsh, even unbearable. 

In deeply patriarchal societies, a woman’s worth is often determined by her ability to fulfill prescribed roles – bearing sons, maintaining the household, and upholding traditions passed down through generations.

Across history and cultures, toxic traditions have shaped the lives of girls from childhood, reinforcing the idea that they are less valuable than boys. 

Whether through expectations of servitude, strict behavioral codes, or the pressure to prioritize family honor over personal ambition, these norms are deeply ingrained and difficult to escape.

A Legacy of Inequality

In many traditional societies, women have long been treated as secondary to men. Historical accounts from different parts of the world paint a stark picture of female oppression. 

Women were expected to work tirelessly, often alongside men, while carrying heavier burdens. Their voices were silenced, their desires dismissed.

A similar narrative played out in various cultures, where a girl’s fate was decided at birth. She had to obey her father as a child and her husband as an adult. 

Her worth was measured by how many sons she bore, and failing to do so meant she was considered incomplete. 

These expectations, passed down from one generation to the next, shaped the way women saw themselves. 

For many, their own identity was lost in the pursuit of meeting impossible standards.

And in many cultures, her value also depended on how beautiful she was — or wasn’t.

The Many Faces of Gender Discrimination

While progress has been made, the remnants of these traditions linger in different forms across the globe. 

Some of the most deeply entrenched inequalities manifest in societies where strict gender roles and expectations limit women’s autonomy.

Let’s dive into this in more detail.

Forced Adaptations: When Women Must Become Men

One of the most extreme adaptations to gender-based restrictions is the tradition of women assuming male identities to inherit family responsibilities. 

This practice, found in different forms across cultures, often forces women into a life of celibacy in exchange for social acceptance.

Whether in the Balkans, South Asia, or parts of Africa, women who take on male roles can gain privileges typically denied to them – but at a cost. 

They must relinquish their own identities, their desires, and often their personal freedoms to maintain a sense of duty to their families. 

In the country where I used to live, some women become “sworn virgins,” vowing celibacy to take on the roles traditionally assigned to men.

Selective Abortion: A Global Issue

Perhaps one of the darkest realities for women is the practice of selective abortion, where female fetuses are terminated in favor of male ones. 

This issue is widespread in countries such as India, China, and parts of Eastern Europe, where sons are seen as symbols of status, power, and security.

The preference for boys has led to imbalanced sex ratios and deep-rooted gender discrimination. 

Although awareness campaigns and legal reforms attempt to curb this practice, societal pressures remain strong, forcing many families to make painful choices in pursuit of a male heir.

If you’re a woman who’s grown up carrying the weight of others’ expectations – always told to be quiet, obedient, or “good” – you’re not alone.

TAR Quest was created for women like you. It’s the world’s first gamified program for healing from toxic relationships and traditions.

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Gender Oppression in the United States and Religious Communities

While the United States has made significant strides toward gender equality, systemic inequalities persist. 

Women continue to face wage gaps, underrepresentation in leadership roles, and societal expectations that tie their worth to their roles as caregivers and homemakers.

In conservative religious communities, such as the Amish and some Mormon sects, strict gender roles are still enforced.

• The Amish: Women are expected to be submissive to their husbands, prioritize homemaking and child-rearing, and have little say in community decisions. Education for Amish girls is limited, typically stopping at the eighth grade, reinforcing their dependence on men.
• Mormon Fundamentalist Sects: In some polygamist Mormon communities, women are often married off at a young age, expected to bear multiple children, and discouraged from seeking higher education or employment outside the home. These communities promote male authority and female submission, limiting women’s autonomy and freedom.
• Evangelical Purity Culture: In broader conservative Christian communities, the purity movement places the burden of sexual morality on women, reinforcing the idea that their value is tied to their chastity and obedience.

Gender Inequality Beyond One Culture: A Worldwide Struggle

The struggle against gender discrimination is not confined to one country or region. 

Across the world, traditional expectations continue to dictate women’s lives, often restricting their opportunities and freedoms.

• Middle East: In some countries, women still lack basic rights, such as driving, voting, or making decisions without male guardianship.
• Eastern Europe: In conservative societies, women are expected to marry young and prioritize family over career, often facing backlash if they choose otherwise.
• Africa: Child marriage remains a major issue, with many girls forced into marriage before reaching adulthood, stripping them of their right to education and personal choice.
• Latin America: High rates of femicide highlight the dangers women face, with deeply ingrained machismo culture fostering violence against them.

A New Generation, A New Hope

Despite the deep roots of tradition, change is possible. More women are breaking free from outdated expectations, rewriting their stories, and choosing futures based on their own terms.

As for me, I have spent years unlearning the toxic beliefs instilled in me from childhood. The pressure to conform still lingers, but I dream of a world where my children, whether sons or daughters, are given equal respect and opportunities. 

A world where a woman’s worth isn’t determined by the number of sons she bears but by her ability to thrive, succeed, and be truly free.

The fight for equality begins with us. It starts with questioning traditions, challenging old beliefs, and imagining a future where all women, regardless of where they are born, can live without the weight of gender-based expectations. 

The road may be long, but change is coming.

If this resonated with you — if you’re tired of living by rules you never chose — you’re not alone. You’re ready for something more.

Heroes’ Stories is where real voices rise, where outdated traditions are challenged, and where healing begins. It’s a place for anyone ready to break cycles and live with courage.

And if you’re ready to go deeper, TAR Quest is your next step. This 90-day immersive journey guides you to reclaim your voice, set new boundaries, and rewrite your story — with support, reflection, and real transformation.

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