I Was a Woman Who Manipulated Man – And I Had to Face It

I’ve tried to manipulate my partner more than once. There – I’ve said it. It’s not easy to admit, but it’s the truth.

Luckily, my partner saw through my tactics. He gave me an ultimatum: Either I grow up and stop the childish, toxic behavior, or he walks away.

That was my wake-up call. I had to face a brutal, ugly truth.

I needed to change.

Women Are Taught How to Manipulate a Man

From a young age, many women learn subtle but powerful ways to manipulate men. 

Whether through societal conditioning or personal experience, they become adept at influencing emotions, twisting words, and using underhanded tactics to get what they want.

At the same time, other women are shaped by toxic traditions and patriarchal rules – raised to obey, not to deceive.

Some women don’t even realize they’re doing it. Others know exactly what they’re doing and choose not to stop. 

Over time, these small manipulations turn into full-fledged emotional abuse that destroys relationships and damages the men involved.

Let’s be honest – we all manipulate to some extent. But we can’t use deception and control to gain the upper hand in relationships.

Relationships need to be built on trust and honesty.

What Exactly Is Manipulation?

Manipulation is the act of influencing someone’s emotions to get a desired response. It’s a form of control. 

And it can come from anyone: 

• a wife, 
• a sister, 
• a female friend, 
• even a mother or daughter.

The worst part? Society normalizes it. 

The media is filled with advice for women on how to “make him jealous,” “get him to miss you,” or “make him listen to your needs.” 

These aren’t tips for healthy communication – they’re guides on how to manipulate man into compliance.

And ironically, this is also why chivalry no longer works – because genuine gestures of care are now met with skepticism, confusion, or even hostility.

Popular Tactics Women Use To Manipulate Men

Not all women are manipulators – but it’s time to acknowledge that many are. Like I have said, I was a manipulator too, and like many others I had my way of doing it.

Here are some known manipulation tactics that women use to manipulate men in relationships:

1. Excessive Praise: “You’re So Amazing, Babe!”

Genuine compliments are great. But when I wanted something from my partner, I showered him with praise – over and over again.

At first, it seemed innocent. But my partner caught on. The moment I got extra affectionate and started praising him multiple times in one conversation, he would ask, “What are you after?”

And he was right – I always wanted something. Maybe it was a fancy date night or a gift. But why wasn’t I just honest? Why did I feel the need to trick someone I love?

Now, I praise my partner when it’s genuine – not when I want something. Because a strong relationship is built on honesty, not emotional bribery.

2. The Damsel in Distress: “Oh, My Male Friend Will Help Me Instead…”

I used to play helpless. If I wanted my partner to fix something, I wouldn’t just ask – I’d remind him how he helped others before. 

And if that didn’t work, I’d casually mention that another man could do it instead.

This played on his protective instincts and, let’s be real, a little jealousy. It was manipulative.

Now, I ask for help directly and respect his priorities. A real partnership isn’t about tricking someone into doing things for you – it’s about mutual respect.

3. Feigned Obedience: “Whatever You Say, Babe!”

This is a classic tactic. Some women act overly agreeable and submissive to get their way. 

They know that by making a man feel in control, they increase their chances of getting what they want later.

Yes, some men abuse power in relationships – but that’s a different conversation. The point here is that fake obedience is just another way to manipulate. 

I’ve said it before, and I am gonna say it again – A healthy relationship should be built on mutual respect, not power plays.

4. Silent Treatment: “Everything’s Fine… Really…”

I used to shut down when I was upset. Instead of talking to my partner about my feelings, I expected him to magically figure it out.

Sometimes, women throw tantrums just before their partner is about to go out with friends– subtly manipulating them into staying home. I know I did it.

Some women have perfected the art of manipulation. They know how to bend and break men.

But here’s the truth: Manipulation doesn’t create love. It destroys it.

If you’re a woman and you are using these tactics – you should stop. 

Your partner won’t love you more for it. In fact, you’re driving him away.

Real love isn’t about control. It’s about you two being sincere, respectful, and that you have open communication.

Related article: 9 Ways to Make Your Man Feel Like a Man.

Tips to Build a Healthy Relationship

If you truly love your partner, drop the manipulation and embrace honesty. Here’s how:

✔ Communicate Clearly: Say what you want – don’t make him guess. 

✔ Respect His Boundaries: If he says no, accept it. 

✔ Give Without Expecting: Don’t use affection as a bargaining chip. 

✔ Be Direct, Not Deceptive: Honesty builds trust.

Many men don’t realize when they’re being manipulated and they won’t suspect anything. 

I had the luck of finding a man who saw through my manipulations and who helped me become the better version of myself.

I am writing to you so that you can see it for yourself and work on becoming a better version of yourself. I want you to have a healthy relationship and a happy life.

Keep in mind that men can be the manipulators too. Their tactics slightly differ, but the essence is the same. In the end, the manipulator (male or female) needs to change.

And if he refuses to change? Walk away. You deserve a real partner – someone who respects you as an equal.

A strong relationship isn’t about winning or controlling. It’s about walking hand in hand, facing challenges together, and growing side by side.

Because in true love, there’s no need for manipulation.

After all, manipulation is one of the defining traits of truly miserable people – and you don’t want to become one.

Break Free from Toxic Patterns: Learn from My Journey

If my story resonated with you – if you’re ready to leave behind toxic patterns and build something real – you’re not alone. There’s so much more to learn, explore, and heal.

At Heroes’ Stories, you’ll find more real-life journeys, deep insights, and honest conversations about breaking free from toxic relationship cycles.

And if you’re ready to go beyond reading – to truly transform – I invite you to join the waitlist for the MyTAR App and its impressive program – TAR Quest.

TAR Quest is the world’s first gamified toxic relationship recovery program. This 90-day immersive journey will guide you through healing, growth, and emotional freedom in a fun and entertaining way.

Don’t just hope for a better relationship. Build it with courage, clarity, and a little help from a community that gets it.